So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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