She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
