you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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