Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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