I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
