so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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