sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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