Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
