my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize