i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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