I'm drive I can fine osifer
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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