I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize