You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Come share oat with me in your robe
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
