2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
