so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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