were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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