I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
