There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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