Its about making memories worth repressing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
