so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
