my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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