That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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