you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
