Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
