Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
