like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
