just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize