Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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