you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
