walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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