that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
