I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
