Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
