dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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