DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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