my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
