ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
