I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
