I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
