if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
