I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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