it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
