awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
MIDGETS
????
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
