well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
