The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
