My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
