C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she peed on how many people?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
