just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Found your dick twin last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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