We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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