Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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