Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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