Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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