yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
someone owes me an orgasm
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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