He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize