ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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