I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
