Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
