Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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