I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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