ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
