i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
