Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
