You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize